I am really having a hard time with this birthday.
The funny thing is I know I'm young, but something has changed in my view of the world, or of my place in the world, or what should be important.
Things really do change when you get older (maybe by collections of years instead of year by year). And they should change some, right? We should be more mature or something. More tolerant instead of less, more easy going instead of tense.
To be truthful, the things I notice are more related to vanity (yes, I am worried about my looks, I know it's hard to tell sometimes). I have wrinkles that almost disappear with the right eye cream, I have scars that are taking much longer to heal. When I go to the gym after a little "gym vacation" I am sore for days as opposed to a day. I can't trim down a few pounds just by eating salad for a couple weeks.
I know I have years ahead of me and many other changes to come. This is a phase I'm going to pull myself out of.
I've got to enjoy my beautiful life now and everyday so that I won't even notice the day I turn 93 instead of 33.
1 comment:
Oh Beth, I have been having the very same thoughts and worries. It makes me feel better I'm not alone. I've talked to a few other friends about this, and they've said the same. So it's not just the two of us. :)
I'm worried about my skin, about how I can't run hard and recover as fast as I used to, about general mortaility. It's weird to go from being Young to Not. Young was part of my identity. It never really hit home that it was part of my identity that would go away.
I can't say anything truly comforting except: I know exactly how you feel.
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